On not getting in the way of it...
I know the thing I seem to say most often about the
‘Business of Painting’ is ….. it is a mystery….
Today, whilst painting Erica, I knew I didn’t know ‘how the hell I would do it’ or … ’what the hell I was doing’! Maybe that feeling was less frightening than it was last Friday when I was doing the drawing ? …. Because at least this time I had a recent experience that somehow inside me was the capacity/cabability – experience inside my physical self, that my eyes and brain and hands would do this thing – as long as I didn’t get in their way…..
I don’t know if that sounds mad – it sort of sounds mad to me, and then I remember that poem that author Gillian Cross gave me a few months ago –
it was about prayer (Disclosure, see below) and/but what it says is also applicable to creativity – maybe its true of love as well?
There is a saying : do what Love requires of you* …. So I just do what is required of me …. Which is to look very hard and to be as open to what I am seeing as I can be … I think the anxiety expresses itself in solicitude for the comfort of the sitter!
Prayer is like watching for the
All you can do is
Be where he is likely to appear, and
Often, nothing much happens;
There is space, silence and
No visible sign, only the
Knowledge that he’s been there
And may come again.
Seeing or not seeing cease to matter,
You have been prepared.
But when you’ve almost stopped
Expecting it, a flash of brightness
* Advices and queries
No 28 ‘Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance, try to discern the right time to undertake or relinquish responsibilities without undue pride or guilt.
Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness.’
From Quaker Faith and Practice